Sunday, lovely Sunday

What a great day!  This morning I taught my last Adult Education class at temple, and was pretty excited that when someone mentioned a Biblical reference, I was able to pull out the Torah, find the spot in a few minutes, and then interpret the Hebrew root word.  It was almost... rabbinic. :)

After class ended I came home, right in time to help put the kids down for nap and take one myself, which is rare and glorious.  Then I spent the afternoon at the park with Nicole S.

Playing tag with Kaya, Xander, and Julian.

We all took turns pushing each other.

Julian playing peek-a-boo with Ari.

After the park we went to dinner, and the baby amazed us by eating everything in sight.  Then he ate more when we got home.  At this rate he'll be in a new size of clothing within a week or two!

At bathtime I heard Jonathan talking to both kids in the bathtub.  Xander kept trying to tell Jonathan something, but Ari kept talking nonsense syllables the whole time.
      A: [babble babble babble]
      X: "EXCUSE me, Ari!  Stop talking!!!"
      J: "Sweetie, he's just excited."
     X: "He's talking over me!  That's very rude."
I love that Xander applies all the same rules to his brother that he does to himself.  I mean, it's very age-appropriate, but still very cute.

Come bedtime, I was asked to tell the story for a change.  Tonight was the tale of Norbert the dragon, who lived in a world where dragons were real but boys and girls existed only in fairy tales.  So Norbert and his Mommy visited village after village trying to find a boy or girl for Norbert to play with.  The villages had cows, goats, sheep, even giraffes... but no children.  Finally, just when Norbert had given up hope, he heard footsteps, and who was there?  A boy, named Xander!  They then went off and had multiple adventures, and Xander (who didn't like to be called Xanderbug anymore, but was Xanderbutterfly, because he always wanted to be a butterfly) proved to the world that boys could exist as well as dragons.

The end.

Bunnies and babies

As part of hosting Maura's baby shower on Monday, I made a Powerpoint slide show of baby pictures of her, and learned how to embed music so the song played when the show started.  (Hooray secretarial skills from my previous life!)  Unfortunately (fortunately?) there's no Powerpoint on the blog.  But enjoy pictures anyway.

     

Baby bunny on HUC campus on my last day Thursday.  Cuteness!

 For my brother, who wondered if we still had Yentl, because I only ever talk about Simcha.  (He's my favorite, sorry.)

 Ari eating dinner with us:  chicken, noodles, mixed veggies, mashed potatoes.  

Jonathan and Ari in front of the Western Wall green screen at the JCC's Yom Ha-atzma'ut (Israeli Independence Day) celebration.  Xander and I aren't in the picture because he couldn't be bothered to pose; there was a bounce house!

The view of my lap at naptime.

Xander fascinated by the dulcimers at the Scottish festival last Saturday.

And lastly, our Shabbat with Shabby Dinosaurowitz:

 Bad candle placement on our part for pictures.  Oops.

Happy almost-nuzzles.

Grape juice face.

                                     

Note the two bottom teeth!

The week of last lunches

Monday: with HUC students studying for finals
Tuesday: with Nathan and Elisa from the AJA
Today: with classmates and local women rabbis from the Women's Rabbinic Network
Tomorrow: with Amanda, Michelle and others from the AJA
Friday: with Jonathan because I will be done with work aaagh!

And the WRN gave me the most appropriate present, one that I wanted to own anyway: a copy of New Jewish Feminism: Probing the Past, Forging the Future.  It has sections on theology, ritual and Torah, women in Israel, gender and sexuality, leadership and social justice, and more.  It will have a place of pride on my shelf right next to Adler's Engendering Judaism and Plaskow's Standing at Sinai.  But best of all?  The nameplate. 

This is the first time I've seen my soon-to-be title in print. :)

Harry Potter in 99 seconds

If only he would ask more about spelling...

When Xander asks why this happens or that happens, I can usually give him a good answer.  Lately though, he's been into how.  How is much harder.

Today's query, in the car: "Mommy, how does the crankshaft turn?"

Uhh...... something with gears and sprockets?

I garbled something, and whatever it was, he accepted it.  Then I had a flash of insight and turned the conversation into one about engineering.  Now he's even more excited to talk to my father when he comes to visit - Sabba's an engineer, he figures out how things work all day long!

Heartbroken Jonathan

There was a massive power surge at our house a few days ago - I'm still not quite sure of the source - but everything survived fine save one item: Jonathan's computer monitor. It died a tragic death, but he valiantly struggled on, and got a new one today.

This evening, he went down to the basement to grab some computer cords to hook up the new monitor.

Unfortunately....

All three plastic bins holding spare computer components were filled with seven inches of water.

So not only do we have water damage in our basement from the recent storms, but the total loss of the bins means hundreds of dollars down the drain, and the complete destruction of all material components of my husband's favorite hobby.

It is a sad, sad day in our house.

A week of endings

We don't move til June, but for some reason this week seemed to be a big week of lasts, in many ways.

- On Monday, I gave my senior sermon.  And Wednesday all the seniors got together to lead a joint service for the school.  Last official things on my HUC checklist, done!

- Last day of class on Thursday.  At the goodbye luncheon, I found myself giving people hugs and not knowing when I'd see them again.  So strange.

- Last PhD dissertation lecture.  Since our campus also has the grad school, one of the perks (in my opinion) has been going to the culminating presentations of the new PhD's.  Thursday was my friend Justin's presentation on the influence of the Jewish philosopher Philo on a writing of Didymus the Blind.    I learned something completely new; apparently Philo was "adopted" by the Christians and perceived as a Christian early writer due to his style of exegesis (Biblical interpretation).  I'd had no idea.  It was truly fascinating.  And then I laughed at myself as I realized I was the only rabbinic student in the room of grad students and profs, and remembered the librarian who thought I was a grad student too.  Eh, everyone else's loss.

- Last time scheduling visits with doctors and vets and hairstylists so it will all get done before we move... which I know seems like nothing, but really does feel like an ending.  We took Simcha in to get his teeth cleaned, and Xander was so cute, he insisted that the cat carrier sit by his car seat instead of by me in the front seat, because "I'll take care of him.  I'm the big brother!"  Oh, and that poor cat was so drugged afterwards it was almost funny... all he wanted to do was cuddle.  He lurched around following me until I gave in and pulled him into my lap, where he lay prone for two hours.

- Last week of meeting amazing new people in the Archives.  Yes, it's really my penultimate week of working, but there are no new Archives fellows next week, so... I've been working with a woman who's an expert on California Jewry.  When I told her I was moving to Sacramento, she sent me this video about Pioneer Jews in the 1850s, and how to teach kids about their Gold Rush experiences, culminating in a cemetery visit. I'd never meet scholars in such fields if I hadn't worked here.  (Here's the video, if you're interested.)

- Last community events.  This includes the last HUC kid birthday party today (Yay, Max is one year old!), the last lunch with Bruce/remnants of my CPE group, and the last (or certainly next-to-last) Scottish event; today was the Caledonian Pipes and Drums Band, with tons of bagpipers, Highland dancers, Scottish food, etc.  My favorite was the tea room - but Gwen, don't get too excited, it was pretty close to the Scotch Tasting area, so there was a lot of overlap. :)

- Last Tot Shabbat but one - and thank goodness for that one!  There is a very popular Shabbat song with the preschool set about a dinosaur knocking at the door, who wants to have Shabbat with the kid.  The dinosaur wants to light the candles, drink the wine, you get the idea.  Well, Rabbi Coran instituted a brilliant idea (which I may copy): she brought a small stuffed dinosaur onto the bima with her, named Shahbee Dinosaurowitz.  She then held up a photo album which had a picture of her and the dinosaur on the front page, but the rest of the pages were empty.  Each Tot Shabbat, she said, Shahbee Dinosaurowitz would go home with a different person, and that person would take a picture of themselves and the dinosaur celebrating Shabbat.  She put all the kids' names in a hat, and who got picked?!  Our Xander!!  Later that evening I thanked her, thinking that it had been a plant, because this was literally the only time we could do it (May Tot Shabbat will be our last).  But no, it was sheer coincidence!  Xander was unbelievably enthused, and has clung to the dinosaur so tightly that we may have to intervene to insure that Shahbee does not become Shabby.

And I think that's about it...

Oh, except that Thursday was also most likely our last D&D game, too.  Danyul leaves in two weeks to go back home, and Marc's pretty much out of the picture because mazel tov! his wife Rachel gave birth to their son Emory yesterday.  The excuses these people come up with, really... ;)

Really really cool things. In pictures.

My rabbinical thesis, all bound and pretty.

 A signed lease between Jonathan and myself and our two renters.  They're both HUC students, and I feel confident that our house will be in good hands.

Mike playing "And You Shall Be a Blessing" in the student lounge to Ari, who is utterly and completely mesmerized. 

And just because I love this stuff - look closely and this medieval book has an impression of spectacles within it!  Because the book could be dated as early as the 1300s and is from medieval Venice, 150 miles from where glasses were invented in Florence in 1286, scholars are thinking that this could be an impression of one of the earliest pair of glasses ever recorded.  Cool, huh?  Click here for more.

The conversations of our life

EARLY MORNING:

[We wake up every morning when X comes into our bedroom and launches himself onto our bed.  This invariably wakes up Ari, who sleeps on a mattress in our room.  He then stands up by my side of the bed and whimpers until I pick him up to join us. This morning, once we all got settled, X was feeling talkative.]
"Do you want to hear a story?"
[J and I nod yes.]
"I like stories.  It's not bedtime, but I'll tell you one.  Once there was this little American boy in Japan who was learning how to be a ninja..."  [he then proceeded to repeat the first half of J's story to him the night before]
"Do you want to hear another story?  I'm a good storyteller, I'll tell a story to Ari.  Ari, once there was this mean king, and his name was Pharaoh.  And he was mean to the Jews.  And he said no, no, no, I will not let your people go [lyrics to a Passover song], and so bad things happened, like bugs and frogs in his hair!  And then Pharaoh, that was the king's name, Pharaoh let the Jews go, and the Jews were happy.  Yay!  The end."


LATE MORNING:

[I visit the restroom five minutes before my adult education class starts at temple. As I enter the stall, I hear two women talking in the stalls adjoining mine.]
Congregant A:  "So, [Congregant B], how's your life going?"
Congregant B: "Well, right now I'm peeing!  But other than that, I'm great.  I'm here to go to Michal's class."
Congregant A: "I'm here because of [her son, who's in religious school.] I'm not gonna go to the class, I just can't take Michal talking at me for an hour right now."
Me [chuckling]: "Um, guys, before you go any further you should know I'm right here. And hopefully I won't talk for the whole hour, I've planned lots of discussion."
[A single beat of silence, then uproarious laughter from both of them]
Congregant A, exiting her stall: "Oh, don't take it personally!  You're great, but I'm ADHD and don't wanna sit down for an hour!"
Later that day, I tell Jonathan what happened.  He laughs in disbelief and says, "That ONLY happens to women.  Men would NEVER talk in the bathroom like that!"


[Also at temple, talking with a different congregant about what time she should arrive to ordination.]
Congregant: "So, you're 'L,' so for you, quarter of 11?"
Me [confused]: "It starts at 9?"
Congregant: "Right, but I just want to come for you, not the service.  And you're halfway through the alphabet.  So... is quarter of 11 enough time, or do you think 10:30?"
Me [giving up and laughing]: "I think quarter of 11 will do quite nicely."



LUNCHTIME:

[Ari is pushing a train across the carpet, caboose first.]

X: "NO, ARI!!!  That's the wrong way!" [reaches to grab the train]
J: "Please don't take it away from him.  Can you help him instead?"
X: "That's what I was doing."  [turns train around, gives it back]
[Ari resumes pushing it, now the right way]
X: "YAAAY!!  You did it, Ari!!  Good job." [Claps his hands together excitedly.]
[X's joy is contagious, and J and I start clapping and saying "YAAY!!" too.]
A:  [Sees X's enthusiasm and starts giggling, bounces up and down madly before proceeding to push his train out of the room.]

AFTERNOON:

[At the swimming pool.  X is demonstrating his moves from swim lessons]
X: "I can go underwater, look!!!"  [dunks his whole head in momentarily, comes up grinning, shaking his head and wiping the hair off his forehead]  "Did you see?"
J and I, together:  "We did."
J: "Was it scary?"
X: "No, it wasn't!  Let's do it to Ari, show him it's not scary."
J: "That could be a little much for Ari.  This is his first time in the big pool you know [instead of the tide pool we usually go in]."
X: "Okay!  I'll show him something else.  I'll show him how to make biiiiiiig splashes."
[He proceeds to splash so furiously that the life guard a little ways away raises his eyebrows. Ari gets drenched and looks like he's about to cry]
Me: "Honey, a little less splashing around Ari, please. He doesn't like it."
X [obviously perplexed].  "But... he's not going underwater... it's just splashing.  We're in the pool."


EVENING:

[J looks all over the living room for something.  He asks X if he's seen the object he's misplaced.]
X [very seriously]:  "No.  You should ask Mommy.  She's a really good finder!"


[And SCENE.]

Breaking the fourth wall

I had the best conversation with Xander in the car, coming home from school yesterday.  Actually, it was between Sophie the giraffe and Xander; he didn't speak to ME once.  But he told Sophie all about his day and even sang songs with her.  It's like he knows I voice the stuffed animals in his life, but then doesn't at the same time.  At one point he asked me if I wanted to hear Sophie sing the ABCs, and I said sure, I'd love to have her sing to me.  The next sentence was him asking if I could make Sophie sing. :)

In other news, the Children's Museum is about a trillion times more busy on a rainy Saturday afternoon than it was on Easter Sunday.  Thank goodness for Carlie and Yasha and their parents for keeping me company on those respective days.  Also, they say money can't buy happiness?  Perhaps that's true in the long run, but in the short term I love my new thermos so I can take hot chai to work.  And these popsicle molds are the best invention ever:

Fill with fruit juice, freeze, and then suck the juice from the straw as it melts.  Yay for lack of mess!

Lastly, Pesach is now over.  I'm extremely hopeful that this means less sweeping up of matzah crumbs in my future.  Ari LOVES matzah - he just cut a second tooth and loves the crunchiness - but this week I've been best friends with the kitchen broom.

The 80s just blew Xander's mind

"Xander, Xander, bo-bander, banana fana fo-fander, me my mo-mander, XANder."

He stood there in shock with his mouth open, processing.  Then he practically shook himself, closed his mouth with a snap and immediately demanded that I sing it again. :)

Nature amazes me

This is not a caterpillar.

The calendar is cruel.

Why does the week after Easter have to be the week of Passover?

All my non-Jewish co-workers at the Archives are bringing in their dessert leftovers to share.  And none of them are kosher for Pesach!  So far I've had to turn down two different types of cake, one batch of chocolate chip cookies, and some yummy cookie-with-jam pastry.

It's just not fair!!!

Ari's birthday party last week

(Second seder at the AJA was great.  Just long.  And now I'm tired, but I know that if I I don't post these pictures tonight, it'll be another week before I get to them. So sorry folks, no captions.)

The day before the party, we gave Ari his gift from us, the ride-on car.  If you happen to notice that it looks amazingly like Xander's from two years ago that was then put in the basement... don't tell him!

The party the next morning:

Ayden and Matt

Rachel and Jack, Rachael

Ari and Yasha

Nancy, me, Xander

 Smash cake.

Cupcake cake.  

Thank you to Danyul for the filming and narration!

Since cupcakes are messy, we all moved outside for the actual eating:

He was such a dainty eater we had to actually break off a piece for him... and then he only nibbled it.

Julian

Ari copying

Julian, Eden, Carlie, Yasha, Xander

Carlie, Xander and the bubble blower

Yasha, half of Yael, and the all important yellow balloon

Julian running

Liam and Kaya

I just earned a Jewish mother merit badge.

Clean house?  Check.
White tablecloth? Check.
Charoset?  Check.
Hard-boiled eggs, with one roasted?  Check.
Brisket?  Check.
Chicken? Check.
Noodle kugel?  Check.
Corn?  Check.
Potato/carrot/brown sugar dish?  Check.
15 minute kid seder before dinner?  Check.

I refuse to let the fact that the brisket and kugel were originally frozen to get in the way of my joy. I cooked! And it tasted good!  (And Jonathan did all the clean-up.  Hooray!)  The night ended with a visit from Lambchop, Charlie Horse, and Hush Puppy, courtesy of Shari Lewis' Passover special.

A very successful evening, I would say, especially considering it was the first full-on seder I've ever done myself.

And wow.  Sometimes it really hits me.   I'm a grown-up!

Notes from the past few days

1) Me: "I'll do [whatever] if I have the time."
X:  "Well, I have lots of time, I gave it to you!  I gave Daddy time too."  [extends his hand toward us, palm up, "giving" us his time.]

2) For work I'm currently writing all the text for a bus tour of Jewish Cincinnati.  It's interesting... kind of.  I've now written three blurbs for cemeteries.  Why is that Jews visit cemeteries?  It's an honest question, not rhetorical.

3)  [J licks his thumb and swipes it over X's chin, cleaning it off]
    X: "Ewwww!  I don't want you to put spit on my face!!"

4) We're feeding the cats wet cat food now, in an effort to curb Simcha's weight.  Ari tries to stick his hand in the bowl at every opportunity.  Why oh why must he like cat food?!  (And for you smart alecks, yes, that question is rhetorical.)

5) Xander still can't say two words properly, or at least, properly without slowing down and giving them thought.  "Spaghetti" and "elephant" come out half the time as "pasgetti" and "ephelant."  It's the cutest thing ever.

6) I'm having fun with the show "Lilyhammer," about a New York mob boss who moves to Norway in the witness protection program.  I started watching it at the recommendation of my Norwegian friend, Trond, and it's hilarious.  It's also a Netflix original series.  I'm impressed with them.  Jonathan, on the other hand, has gotten into "Modern Family."  Again, very cute.  But the doofus dad on that show turns me off; they go from being fun characters, to stereotypical caricatures, pretty quickly.

7) Our child is developing a love of reading!  He wants me to spell everything, and delights in telling me that [this word] starts with [this letter].  He's usually right, too, except that he mixes up C and S, and doesn't understand vowels.   The words from today's trip home from school, as spelled out on a napkin at his request, were:

SEDER
OSHER
SIMCHA
YENTL
ALEXANDER LOVING
AIRPLANE  (which he was very confused by)

The best was when we pulled up to our house and I tried to take the paper away, to get him out of his carseat:  "No!  I'm not done looking!"  My heart went pitter-patter.  

(And tonight as we made charoset according to the recipe of the song, we talked about ch, and how there's no such letter in English.  Challah, charoset, Chanukah, Baruch, Michal.  Ah the forehead creases as he processed.)

8) Pesach/Passover.  Cleaning.  Brisket.  Seder.  Vacuuming.  Chocolate toffee matzah.  Charoset-making.  All are quickly becoming one and the same in my book.

9) Ari now has shoes.  He stands up for 3 to 4 seconds on his own before plopping down.  He'll be a toddler soon.  Aaagh!

10) My "senior service" is all outlined, and my sermon is complete.  A week and a half from now, it will be done and I'll have marked off every last thing in my HUC checklist.

And I have nothing left to say...

"Don't Carpe Diem"

I found this wonderful article on parenting at the Huffington Post, by Glennon Melton.  Instead of just linking it, I'm going to cut and paste it below, in the hopes that more people will read it.  I agree with almost every single thing she says.  Except, as a rabbinical student, I would frame it differently: instead of what she calls "kronos" and "kairos," regular time and God's time, I would name it (as I have before in sermons) "mundane" time and "sacred" time.  How can we, as harried parents, increase the moments of holiness in our lives?  How can we actively turn mundane time into sacred time?  'Tis the question of the ages.

So with no further ado:


Don't Carpe Diem, by Glennon Melton

Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:

An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."

Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy every second, etc, etc, etc.

I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.

I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.

And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.

Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."

At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."

That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.

There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"

I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.

Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?

That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.

Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"

My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.

But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here's what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:

"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."

Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.

Here's what does work for me:

There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.

Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.

Like when I actually stop what I'm doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her soft Tishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can't hear her because all I can think is -- This is the first time I've really seen Tish all day, and my God -- she is so beautiful. Kairos.

Like when I'm stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I'm haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I'm transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I'll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world's mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.

Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.

These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairos in my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.

If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.

Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.

Good enough for me.

Pics... but not birthday ones

Those will come later.  These were taken with my phone over the past week.

Ari passed out in the car.

It's a baby control center at the doctor's office!  No matter where he turns, there's something to play with.

Very very excited; note the hands.

My Gryffindor boys.

Also, Ari cut his very first tooth today!  Lower right in the middle.  Xander's response was immediate when we showed him: "Yay!  Now he can eat French toast!"

(Cute that may be, but I almost regretting telling Xander later tonight, because he was mad at me that I didn't insist that Ari brush his teeth along with him.  "Ari has teeth now, he should have to brush too!")