A real conversation

Almost every night, Ari goes to bed a little earlier than Xander.  Every night Xander gives Ari a kiss on the cheek (or the head, or the foot), and says, "lilah tov, Ari!"  (good night in Hebrew)

Last night, he said lilah tov as usual, and Ari said "lala."  Xander lit up and told him, "lililililililililah tov!"  Ari said back, "lililili!"  They did that twice in a row, so I know it wasn't a fluke.  Ari was actually talking to him!  By the end both were giggling, and it felt like they shared a brotherly connection that neither Jonathan nor I were part of. 

How fantastic!

How to potty train a 3 year old (for real, no joke)

1) Wait til they're ready. If you want it and they don't, there's no point.

2) Introduce them to a cousin/friend/classmate their age who's already potty-trained.  Peer pressure works!

3) Find what your kid cares about.  For us, we had to give up on sticker charts. Stickers mean nothing. M&Ms, on the other hand, work wonders.  One M&M per potty visit = multiple voluntary visits per day.

4) Have them pick out their own underwear.  For us, Thomas the Train big boy underwear is AMAZING.

5) And lastly... I hate to say it, but the clincher has been unabashed bribery.  Buy a fancy new toy (in our case, a front loader with moving mechanical parts).  Put it in a place of prestige (in our case, on the fireplace mantle), still in its box, as incentive.  Make criteria (of days without accidents, number of times on the potty, etc), and stick to it before giving the reward.

Xander really wants the front loader.  And he loves his underwear.  In three days with no diapers - even at nap and bedtime - only two accidents!  He even got up twice in the middle of the night last night to tell us he needed to go.

Thank you, universe.

Purim and other random kidlet pictures

Purim is on Wednesday, so of course, this means baking!  

I tried to get into a conversation with Xander about the meaning of the holiday:  

Me: "Xander, remind me again why we make hamantaschen on Purim?"

Him (thinking hard):  "Well... it's Purim.  We always make hamantaschen on Purim!"

I love kid logic.

Contemplating fillings.

Smiles.

Full context.

The next day, hanging out in Jonathan's office...

So happy to play.

Just chillin' with the office chair.

Say WHAT?

Where'd the kitty cat go?

No WAY, I didn't know that!

Hmm....

My work here is done.

At an indoor (unheated) play place for Xander's classmate's birthday.

And this I love, from Lynn K. upon seeing my contract with Ari:

Lovely mistake of the day

A librarian just complimented me on my forthcoming Ph.D.  I asked her what she meant.  Apparently another librarian had shared with her that I was done with my thesis, and she thought that meant I had just finished my dissertation.  All these years she's thought I was a Ph.D. student!  

"You're in the rabbinical program?!  But... we NEVER see rabbinic students studying in here like you do."

I didn't quite know what to say.  Umm.. I'm a geeky academic rabbinical student?

She was more than a little embarrassed, I could tell.  But I was actually pretty flattered. :)

My thesis is COMPLETE!!!!

I turn it in tomorrow.

The moment I finished the last thing (which was converting all 132 pages from a Word doc to a PDF), I closed my laptop, leaped up from the couch, and shouted, "Everyone stop what they're doing and do a happy dance with me!  I finished!  It's been over a year, but it's DONE!"

Xander ran in from the adjoining room where he'd been playing, and said, "I want to dance with you, Mommy!"  He wanted to sing a song while we danced, too.  "Great idea!"  I said.  "But what song?"  The ABC's, of course!

So for a good six or seven minutes, I held Xander, and Jonathan held Ari, and we danced like crazy around the living room, singing the ABC's and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star at the top of our lungs.

It was the perfect celebration. :)

Contract with JONATHAN'S Youngest Son

On this day, the 27^th of February, the individual Michal (hereafter known as Mommy) and the individual Ari (hereafter known as Baby) do enter into the below contract.

Duties and Responsibilities of Mommy

1. Mommy shall change Baby’s diapers on demand, when he needs it, until such time as he is potty trained.

1(a).  Mommy shall do this with minimal complaining.

2. Mommy shall get Baby dressed in the morning, picking out (mostly) clean clothes appropriate to the weather.

In return, Baby agrees to the following:

Duties and Responsibilities of Baby

3. Baby shall cry to let Mommy know when he needs a diaper change.

            3(a).  Hopefully not very loudly.

4. While on the changing table:

4(a). Baby shall NOT, under any circumstances, reach down into his diaper with his hands and smear diaper contents everywhere.

4(b). Baby shall not dip his socked foot in his dirty diaper as it is being taken off.

4(c). Baby shall not squeeze his legs together and then pedal them, enabling diaper contents to travel up on his torso above the belly button.

4(d). Baby shall not roll over in the middle of a change when the diaper is not yet fully on.

4(e). Baby shall NOT, most especially, NEVER, EVER…. giggle madly as he does all the above things at once.

Signed by the above parties, witnessed by esteemed family members Big Brother Xander and Gerlal the Stuffed Pink Dragon.

In Memoriam

I attended a very sad funeral today, for one of my professors.  Dr./Rabbi David B. Weisberg was the prof who taught my Bible class in the Rare Book room last year.  He was a stellar professor, but beyond that, was an absolute mensch.  He genuinely cared about each of his students and their families, and his enthusiasm for teaching and for Torah was boundless.  Last year we went to his house for Sukkot, and he gave Xander a toy fire truck to play with and gifted it to him when we left.  A week later, he sought me out in the hall to ask how Xander was doing, and if he thought we needed another truck to stave off jealousy with Ari.

He will be greatly missed.

Shabbat musings

Today was, in general, a good day.

Dropped Xander off at school.
Took Ari to the doctor for a well-check.
Did our taxes.
Long-overdue talk with Holly.
Guy over to check out our furnace (all good).
Potential renter over. Looks promising.
Tot Shabbat at temple.
Tot Shabbat dinner schmoozing.
Orange Leaf frozen yogurt dessert.

And then... the tantrums.

Loud.
Louder.
Loudest.

My ears were literally ringing.

Afterward, Xander said that his throat hurt.  No kidding.

I was thinking, why am I a parent again?

And then I saw this article, and I extrapolated the burden and blessing of nursing to the burden and blessing of parenthood in general.  And all of a sudden I felt better about being a mom.  Women have always been torn over loving their children while still being driven nuts by them and missing their own individuality.  It's nice to know I'm not alone, but am part of a historical legacy.

"Cake" the baby chick

Lately, instead of chilling out to How It's Made with the kids, we've been into Cake Boss.  In a recent episode we watched, the bakery made a cake with two real white doves in a cage in the middle.

Xander wanted some doves, too.  He wanted to go to a pet store right then and buy some.

Instead, I said that we had a dove.  A baby dove.  Right there in my hand.  I opened my hand up very slowly and pointed to my empty palm with the other hand, "You see her?  She's right there!"  Xander's mouth slowly opened in an O shape, and he gently scooped the imaginary dove out of my hand and put it on his lap.

The imaginary dove is now known as Cake, and has been relabeled a chick, not a dove.

Cake the chick is the best incentive ever.  "Cake wants to see your room!"  made Xander leave the living room upstairs last night to get ready for bed.  "Cake's never seen you brush your teeth before" led to the best fight-free teeth-brushing in the history of teeth-brushing.  "Cake likes your train pajamas" led to easy-peasy PJs.

It doesn't really matter how Xander feels about Cake.  I am in love.

Thesis procrastination amusement