The conversations of our life

EARLY MORNING:

[We wake up every morning when X comes into our bedroom and launches himself onto our bed.  This invariably wakes up Ari, who sleeps on a mattress in our room.  He then stands up by my side of the bed and whimpers until I pick him up to join us. This morning, once we all got settled, X was feeling talkative.]
"Do you want to hear a story?"
[J and I nod yes.]
"I like stories.  It's not bedtime, but I'll tell you one.  Once there was this little American boy in Japan who was learning how to be a ninja..."  [he then proceeded to repeat the first half of J's story to him the night before]
"Do you want to hear another story?  I'm a good storyteller, I'll tell a story to Ari.  Ari, once there was this mean king, and his name was Pharaoh.  And he was mean to the Jews.  And he said no, no, no, I will not let your people go [lyrics to a Passover song], and so bad things happened, like bugs and frogs in his hair!  And then Pharaoh, that was the king's name, Pharaoh let the Jews go, and the Jews were happy.  Yay!  The end."


LATE MORNING:

[I visit the restroom five minutes before my adult education class starts at temple. As I enter the stall, I hear two women talking in the stalls adjoining mine.]
Congregant A:  "So, [Congregant B], how's your life going?"
Congregant B: "Well, right now I'm peeing!  But other than that, I'm great.  I'm here to go to Michal's class."
Congregant A: "I'm here because of [her son, who's in religious school.] I'm not gonna go to the class, I just can't take Michal talking at me for an hour right now."
Me [chuckling]: "Um, guys, before you go any further you should know I'm right here. And hopefully I won't talk for the whole hour, I've planned lots of discussion."
[A single beat of silence, then uproarious laughter from both of them]
Congregant A, exiting her stall: "Oh, don't take it personally!  You're great, but I'm ADHD and don't wanna sit down for an hour!"
Later that day, I tell Jonathan what happened.  He laughs in disbelief and says, "That ONLY happens to women.  Men would NEVER talk in the bathroom like that!"


[Also at temple, talking with a different congregant about what time she should arrive to ordination.]
Congregant: "So, you're 'L,' so for you, quarter of 11?"
Me [confused]: "It starts at 9?"
Congregant: "Right, but I just want to come for you, not the service.  And you're halfway through the alphabet.  So... is quarter of 11 enough time, or do you think 10:30?"
Me [giving up and laughing]: "I think quarter of 11 will do quite nicely."



LUNCHTIME:

[Ari is pushing a train across the carpet, caboose first.]

X: "NO, ARI!!!  That's the wrong way!" [reaches to grab the train]
J: "Please don't take it away from him.  Can you help him instead?"
X: "That's what I was doing."  [turns train around, gives it back]
[Ari resumes pushing it, now the right way]
X: "YAAAY!!  You did it, Ari!!  Good job." [Claps his hands together excitedly.]
[X's joy is contagious, and J and I start clapping and saying "YAAY!!" too.]
A:  [Sees X's enthusiasm and starts giggling, bounces up and down madly before proceeding to push his train out of the room.]

AFTERNOON:

[At the swimming pool.  X is demonstrating his moves from swim lessons]
X: "I can go underwater, look!!!"  [dunks his whole head in momentarily, comes up grinning, shaking his head and wiping the hair off his forehead]  "Did you see?"
J and I, together:  "We did."
J: "Was it scary?"
X: "No, it wasn't!  Let's do it to Ari, show him it's not scary."
J: "That could be a little much for Ari.  This is his first time in the big pool you know [instead of the tide pool we usually go in]."
X: "Okay!  I'll show him something else.  I'll show him how to make biiiiiiig splashes."
[He proceeds to splash so furiously that the life guard a little ways away raises his eyebrows. Ari gets drenched and looks like he's about to cry]
Me: "Honey, a little less splashing around Ari, please. He doesn't like it."
X [obviously perplexed].  "But... he's not going underwater... it's just splashing.  We're in the pool."


EVENING:

[J looks all over the living room for something.  He asks X if he's seen the object he's misplaced.]
X [very seriously]:  "No.  You should ask Mommy.  She's a really good finder!"


[And SCENE.]