I give up, I'm appealing to the masses.
Once Xander goes down to sleep, he sleeps about 10 hours, usually getting up only once to nurse. I feel very lucky this is so. But the problem is going to sleep - it takes over two hours to put him down! At 7:30 we start with our bedtime routine of changing into PJ's, bedtime story, lullaby, nursing, and rocking. Then he falls asleep for five minutes, then is up again. And so on for two or more hours, til about 10pm. I've read two books on the subject and called the pediatrician, and all say that a baby's natural bedtime is early, between 7 and 8 if not earlier. Xander shouldn't be going down at 10pm every night! We've tried a lullaby CD, a bouncy chair, we've put a blow dryer in his room on the "fan" setting for white noise, and we're trying a pacifier tonight. Nothing works. Jonathan and I don't get any evening together, and we go to bed right after he does, totally frustrated.
Suggestions? We're trying to avoid letting him cry it out.
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11 comments:
have you tried starting the routine earlier?
The earliest we've done it is 7:30, mainly because Jonathan usually only gets home at 6:30 or 7. If you think it will make a difference, though, we can try putting him to bed at 7. What have we got to lose? When is Thias' bedtime?
Aaaahhhh, I remember those days well. :) My youngest son, Shawn, rarely slept and he was a real challenge. He was like the energizer bunny, who would go-go-go until his battery finally wound down. Then a little recharge and he was off and running again. I suggest experimenting a little to see what his natural sleep rhythms are and then coaxing him to change them. For example, if he seems to get sleepy and want a nap at noon each day, see how long you can keep him up past noon before he becomes overtired and really cranky. Say you discover you can keep him awake an extra 30 minutes or so before he becomes overtired. Then try adjusting his sleep times accordingly. Once you figure out his tolerance level and natural sleep rhythms, you can gently start adjusting his sleep times without negatively affecting him. It's what I did with Shawn and the only thing that saved my sanity at the time.
At that age, our go-to strategy was wearing him down - I would do a front wrap cross with the crosses on the outside, that way when I went to lay him down, I could easily swaddle him in the wrap without having to uncover him - it seems like if you uncover them, it wakes them up... If you are concerned about the extra fabric in bed with him, you could swaddle him in his normal blanket before you wrap him.
As for getting him to bed earlier, I think Greg's bedtime has always been a little on the later side, usually around 8:30... That just seems like what has developed as the natural time he is ready for bed, though I would like it to be earlier. But since we don't have to get up that early, I guess it makes sense. I think most of the kids who go to bed at 7 are getting up at 5:30 am so their parents can get to work by 7:30 or 8. One thing we do have to be careful of is to make sure he doesn't nap too late in the day - any sleeping after about 4 pm really seems to screw up bedtime.
Hope you figure something out soon! Believe me, I KNOW how it is to struggle for hours to get a kid to go to sleep! For a while there, I finally gave up and just let Dan do it all the time... But that was when he was much older - the wearing down worked great until probably about a year.
hello there,,, when you have such a bright and alert baby it is always hard to get them to sleep,,, i know that you dont want him to cry himself to sleep but Dr christopher green says just do it gradually,,, maybe 1 min then 2 min then three min,,, but check and make sure that all the necesseties are taken care of first,,,ie.. fed, changed, and cuddled for a bit,,,i hope this helps a little,,, i know it worked with my 3,,,glad to see you are all happy and that xander is growing well,,, i love your home movies,,lol Michelle Dunn
Thank you everyone for the advice! We're trying our best... I'll let you know what happens.
How about providing Xander with his very own bedtime snuggler.... some kids like a blanket, but most latch onto a teddy bear or some such soft-warm-cuddly pal who stays with you the whole night through! Connect the Cuddler to bedtime and sleepy-time; its home is on the bed, even under the covers, waiting for Xander to come to bed. And it's so sad if Xander doesn't hug and hold it close. Buddy and bedtime. Nightime in bed is so lonely if you don't have a buddy.
yer Savta and Xander's SavtaRAHbah
...followup to my recommendation to give Xander a bed-buddy....
Don't worry that he'll take his Cuddler to college with him and make his roommates snicker. His wife will wean him away from it when the time comes....
Savta/SavtaRAHbah
Dearest Michal,
......Remember Doobie?????
yer Savta
Thank you for posting about Doobie to the entire internet.
;)
So - my son NEVER went to sleep before 11. At age 3 or 4 I decided he must be in bed by 8 as his older sister needed her sleep to get up and go to kindergarten. After months of reading, talking, holding the door closed, laying on top of him, etc from 8pm until 11pm, a co-worker with older children asked me about my sleep patterns. I told her I required only 6 hours sleep - Glenn 10! I talked about the different times my different family memebers used to go to sleep or rise, etc. She shared how they were all different in her family too....then she asked at what age I thought these differences developed....
After that we read to both kids - then told the one who wasn't asleep that this was 'grown up time' so he had to play quietly. He did - until he'd fall asleep at 11. the difference - I had 3 hours to do grown up things.
So - I'm wondering - (a) how that pediatrician knows about ALL babies...and (b) what time Xander's 'natural bedtime' might be. Until he has to get up for something early - why struggle with it now.
Love & kisses
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