My thesis is COMPLETE!!!!

I turn it in tomorrow.

The moment I finished the last thing (which was converting all 132 pages from a Word doc to a PDF), I closed my laptop, leaped up from the couch, and shouted, "Everyone stop what they're doing and do a happy dance with me!  I finished!  It's been over a year, but it's DONE!"

Xander ran in from the adjoining room where he'd been playing, and said, "I want to dance with you, Mommy!"  He wanted to sing a song while we danced, too.  "Great idea!"  I said.  "But what song?"  The ABC's, of course!

So for a good six or seven minutes, I held Xander, and Jonathan held Ari, and we danced like crazy around the living room, singing the ABC's and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star at the top of our lungs.

It was the perfect celebration. :)

Contract with JONATHAN'S Youngest Son

On this day, the 27^th of February, the individual Michal (hereafter known as Mommy) and the individual Ari (hereafter known as Baby) do enter into the below contract.

Duties and Responsibilities of Mommy

1. Mommy shall change Baby’s diapers on demand, when he needs it, until such time as he is potty trained.

1(a).  Mommy shall do this with minimal complaining.

2. Mommy shall get Baby dressed in the morning, picking out (mostly) clean clothes appropriate to the weather.

In return, Baby agrees to the following:

Duties and Responsibilities of Baby

3. Baby shall cry to let Mommy know when he needs a diaper change.

            3(a).  Hopefully not very loudly.

4. While on the changing table:

4(a). Baby shall NOT, under any circumstances, reach down into his diaper with his hands and smear diaper contents everywhere.

4(b). Baby shall not dip his socked foot in his dirty diaper as it is being taken off.

4(c). Baby shall not squeeze his legs together and then pedal them, enabling diaper contents to travel up on his torso above the belly button.

4(d). Baby shall not roll over in the middle of a change when the diaper is not yet fully on.

4(e). Baby shall NOT, most especially, NEVER, EVER…. giggle madly as he does all the above things at once.

Signed by the above parties, witnessed by esteemed family members Big Brother Xander and Gerlal the Stuffed Pink Dragon.

In Memoriam

I attended a very sad funeral today, for one of my professors.  Dr./Rabbi David B. Weisberg was the prof who taught my Bible class in the Rare Book room last year.  He was a stellar professor, but beyond that, was an absolute mensch.  He genuinely cared about each of his students and their families, and his enthusiasm for teaching and for Torah was boundless.  Last year we went to his house for Sukkot, and he gave Xander a toy fire truck to play with and gifted it to him when we left.  A week later, he sought me out in the hall to ask how Xander was doing, and if he thought we needed another truck to stave off jealousy with Ari.

He will be greatly missed.

Shabbat musings

Today was, in general, a good day.

Dropped Xander off at school.
Took Ari to the doctor for a well-check.
Did our taxes.
Long-overdue talk with Holly.
Guy over to check out our furnace (all good).
Potential renter over. Looks promising.
Tot Shabbat at temple.
Tot Shabbat dinner schmoozing.
Orange Leaf frozen yogurt dessert.

And then... the tantrums.

Loud.
Louder.
Loudest.

My ears were literally ringing.

Afterward, Xander said that his throat hurt.  No kidding.

I was thinking, why am I a parent again?

And then I saw this article, and I extrapolated the burden and blessing of nursing to the burden and blessing of parenthood in general.  And all of a sudden I felt better about being a mom.  Women have always been torn over loving their children while still being driven nuts by them and missing their own individuality.  It's nice to know I'm not alone, but am part of a historical legacy.

"Cake" the baby chick

Lately, instead of chilling out to How It's Made with the kids, we've been into Cake Boss.  In a recent episode we watched, the bakery made a cake with two real white doves in a cage in the middle.

Xander wanted some doves, too.  He wanted to go to a pet store right then and buy some.

Instead, I said that we had a dove.  A baby dove.  Right there in my hand.  I opened my hand up very slowly and pointed to my empty palm with the other hand, "You see her?  She's right there!"  Xander's mouth slowly opened in an O shape, and he gently scooped the imaginary dove out of my hand and put it on his lap.

The imaginary dove is now known as Cake, and has been relabeled a chick, not a dove.

Cake the chick is the best incentive ever.  "Cake wants to see your room!"  made Xander leave the living room upstairs last night to get ready for bed.  "Cake's never seen you brush your teeth before" led to the best fight-free teeth-brushing in the history of teeth-brushing.  "Cake likes your train pajamas" led to easy-peasy PJs.

It doesn't really matter how Xander feels about Cake.  I am in love.

Thesis procrastination amusement

Up since 3am with a teething baby

Pros:  Can eat all the rest of the chocolate-covered strawberries I made two days ago, without anyone else wanting any.

Cons:  Ugh.  Ate all the chocolate-covered strawberries all by myself.


Pros:  Can cuddle with cats on the couch.

Cons:  Cats now very confused and think it's daylight and running around like crazy.


Pros:  Can download those pictures of the Children's Museum and the Appalachian Festival that was held there on Sunday.  There was real woodworking and everything.

Cons:  Try to download pictures from the camera before I realize that there aren't any pictures of the Museum in the camera.  Why?  Because I hadn't taken the camera with me. Arg.


Pros:  Ari gives up on sleeping entirely, stops crying, and wants to play.

Cons:  Ari gives up on sleeping entirely and wants to play.

Vacuums, Valentine's, variant values, and virtual victory

Children can be helpful!  Like, seriously helpful!  A few days ago was the first time I actually understood this.  Jonathan was vacuuming a few hours before our weekly D&D game (nerd alert and proud), and Xander wanted to get out the "Xander-sized vacuum" to help.  Voila.

And he DID help!  For real.  He did the entire bottom floor, the stairs, and half the top floor.  I actually had to empty the Dirt Devil twice because he spent so long on it.  We were seriously impressed.

 Amused with his brother's vacuuming obsession.

My Tuesday Valentine's:

One of my love languages is food.  My husband so knows this.  Those strawberries are hand-dipped!!  Note the Ghirardelli.  And Lois, the wine is Muscato d'Asti.

Before Ari was born, we got Xander a boy doll to talk about what it be like to care for a baby.  The past week or so he's been really into it, asking me to change its diaper, rocking it, that kind of thing.  Well, tonight's dinner/playdate came courtesy of the "Old McDonald's" with the indoor play structure, and he wanted to bring his "baby Ari" to McDonald's.  Sure, I said.  Why not?  I was (not so) secretly curious as to what would be the general public's reaction.  And I was pleasantly surprised... there was none!  I don't think most people even noticed.  Full disclosure however: we were with another home birthing liberal friend and her kids, and her son, Julian, has relatively long hair and was mistaken for a girl once by another child (I heard the child call him, "she.")  I eavesdropped as Julian asked to hold Xander's doll, and was so thrilled that, as Xander proudly told me afterwards, he shared the baby with Julian and they rocked him together. :)

I have no pictures of Xander with the baby Ari doll, but here instead is a (terrible) picture of Xander at breakfast.  He wanted his happy-face pancakes to be recorded for posterity.  Consider me obliging.

Oh yes, and lest the title be misleading - the virtual victory part?  I'm on page 117 of my thesis!  I had to completely redo Chapter 4 (my advisor's constructive commentary was, unfortunately... extremely constructive).  But I finished it, and then because I was too brain dead to move directly onto the intro/conclusion, I spent hours fixing up the text according to the Society of Biblical Literature Handbook of Style.  E.g. every reference to anything in rabbinic literature has to be italicized.  And abbreviated and spelled according to the SBL transliterated style.  One can't write, "Babylonian Talmud, tractate Brachot," or even, "B. Brachot."  It has to be, "b. Berakhot" in the text, and "b. Ber." in the footnotes.  Similarly, "Tosefta Kiddushin" becomes "t. Qidd."  


Did you know (I hadn't) that Biblical books don't have a period after their abbreviations?  So it's not "Deuteronomy 6:2," or even "Deut. 6:2," but "Deut 6:2."  And all classical literature has its own special abbreviations?  So "Josephus, Antiquities," is wrong. Instead it's "Josephus, Ant."  John Chrysostom's Homiliae in epistulum i ad Corinthios becomes "Chrysostom, Hom. 1 Cor."  All useful information that makes the footnotes much more concise... just a pain to do when one has about 150 footnotes per chapter.  But now it's DONE!

In honor of moving onward with the thesis and thus being eligible for ordination, I will end with this, which has been ubiquitous on my Facebook feed the past few days:

Honestly, any of the above pictures sound good to me.  :)

Thesis thesis thesis

Just one chapter left to revise, then write the intro and conclusion.  Then little things like format the bibliography, write an abstract, and fix the page numbers in the table of contents.  The deadline's March 1st.  Think I can do it?  Wish me luck!

The newspaper of my head

World/U.S.: Huffington post article about a child's response to antisemitism in Manhattan. Absolutely lovely, if an article on that subject can be referred to that way.

Health:  Teeth-brushing issue solved!  We bought Xander a new pink toothbrush and that did the trick.  Also, Ari can now crawl up the stairs.  He's lightening fast.  We broke out the baby gates last night and the poor thing was so confused.


Arts: Xander, the excavator Potter, and the pink "music truck" (because it plays a tune when you open the door) all have conversations now.  Xander uses his normal voice to be himself, Potter's voice is squeaky and high-pitched, and the pink music truck is extra low.  It's utterly adorable, I'll have to try and videotape it when he's not looking.

Book/movie: We all watched Mary Poppins tonight and had a grand time.  I hadn't seen it since I was a child, and I'd never realized how much it had for adults!  The kids' mother was a suffragette, Dick van Dyke's character was a commentary on class relations at the time, etc.  I mean, it wasn't quite Upstairs, Downstairs, but it wasn't solely the magical realism kids' movie I remembered, either.  Also, Cleopatra's Daughter by Michelle Moran?  A completely engrossing, fun escape into the worlds of ancient Rome and Egypt.

Education: Oy this is true.  Just fill in "rabbinical school" instead of "grad school."

Real estate:  We showed our house yesterday when it was a complete and utter mess, and we were here, in our pajamas.  Why?  Because we never got the message that the realtor was coming by until after she already left.  

Dining and wine: Jonathan made Indian curry last night and it was fantastic, hooray!

Obituaries:  W. Gunther Plaut, who wrote "The Torah: A Modern Commentary" and helped shape Reform Judaism.  And on a less serious note, an unknown number of "bad guys" in our house, deceased for reasons of non-violence.  They entered Xander's room and threatened him.  He brought out his imaginary tank with missiles and guns to shoot them.  I intervened and asked if we could peaceably resolve the situation.  Why were they bad guys?  Because they were sad.  Why were they sad?  Because they were hungry.  How could we solve our problem?  By feeding them.  What did they want?  Candy.  Cherry lollipops, to be precise.  So we offered one lollipop to each of them, and the "bad guys" became "happy guys."  Whew.

Travel:  The last of the Sacramento pictures.

Lois and Mike's house in the background.

Facing away from the house.

A little dubious about the roller.

Better once his cousin's with him.

Milkshake moustache.

Playground joy.

And in the end, a passed-out child.