A tale that has existed (with different nuances) since women first started working outside the home

So today was a great day in one sense, not-so-great in another.  I went back to school/work for the first time in a month, really, acharai hachagim (after the Jewish holiday season).  Class til 11am, then work til 4pm.  

1) School was great.  We had a guest speaker from the CCAR, Central Conference of American Rabbis, the rabbinic organization of the Reform movement and what we automatically join we're ordained.  The speaker spoke all about transition, for both ourselves and our congregations.  I highly recommend this spoken poem "The Parable of the Trapeze," which she played for us and, entirely not-coincidentally, happens to mirror a lot of what I'm currently feeling.

2) Work was great.  I'm processing this collection by a man who was a Jewish educator for 60 years, and the variety of personal items, curriculum, and correspondence is very impressive, and inspiring.  I feel lucky to be working with these documents.

BUT...

Our childcare provider who had been living with us moved out - she needed more time to work on her studies - so that meant Jonathan had Ari at home all day.  Which meant we had to wake up extra early to take Xander to preschool so I could go to class, instead of me carpooling into school with her.  More importantly, it meant I also needed to pump all day.

1) That didn't work so well. My body hates the pump.  I got some good tips from a couple friends and it's going better, but it's still not ideal.

2) Ari hates not being around me.  He only took one 20-minute nap and spent all afternoon crying.  Which made Jonathan feel absolutely terrible because Ari's a really wonderful baby who rarely cries.  And Ari was so mad at me when Jonathan picked me up that he refused to make eye contact for a good 15 minutes, he kept turning his head away.  After that he got over it and didn't want to be out of my arms.

Xander had a perfect report card from school, so of course he was a terror at home (two-time outs for kicking the cats).  And then we did bedtime rituals, and as Jonathan read Xander the last story I went into the other room to put Ari to bed, around 8:15pm.  I fell completely asleep on the bed next to him. 

Jonathan woke me a little after 9pm because Xander wouldn't go to sleep without me; in fact, the minute I woke up I heard hysterical "I WANT MOMMY!!!!" screams coming from his room.  So I went in, lay on his bed to cuddle with him for a minute, and promptly fell asleep again.  I woke up at 10:30pm when he sneezed on me.  I debated going to my own bed then, but no, I wanted some time to myself.  And anyway, I have to pump to keep my supply up for both myself and the woman I'm giving milk to.  So to amuse myself while pumping I turned on Netflix.

Did you know that Netflix now carries Thirtysomething?

Literally six minutes into the show Jonathan came rushing downstairs confused because he heard the baby crying.

It was the seven month-old baby on the TV who was crying, not Ari.  And the mom was crying into the dad's arms because she couldn't take being with the baby all day, but she didn't want to go back to work yet either.

That show is our lives.  It's kind of scary.

And reassuring too, because it shows me that there really is nothing new under the sun, and all this too shall pass.

Only that shall happen

Which has happened, 

Only that occur

Which has occurred; 

There is nothing new

Beneath the sun!

   - Ecclesiastes 1:9