Learning Shabbat from a 1 year old

I know that I seldom post things myself on the blog, but I had to share.

Every few weekends, Michal goes to her pulpit in Indiana, and as of late, Xander and I have stayed behind to fend for ourselves. This Friday while Michal was leading services some 100 miles away, I was giving Xander his bath, putting him in his PJ’s and getting him ready for bed.

I usually give him some play time, just him and me in his room to sort of wind down. As a Dad, I’m really terrible at the whole winding down thing. It goes against all my skill sets. I’m good at tickling, flinging you high in the air, and zerberts*. Fun stuff, but not the most relaxing things you can do with a 1 year old. True to my nature, I was in his room, getting Xander to relax for bed time by singing “Shabbat Shalom, HEY!” while clapping loudly. Not the most soothing song in the list of Shabbat songs.

Ok, I told you I wasn’t good at this “calming down” stuff, but that isn’t the point of this story. You see, after a few rounds of Xander clapping his hands and smiling he got up, gave me the sign for "more," and went to the door and was trying his hardest to open it. Having never seen him do this before I was curious and decided to indulge him. I opened the door. Grabbing my finger (as my hands are too big for him to grasp) he toddled as only a 1 year old toddles and led me to the stairs. We went down the stairs. Step by step, one at a time (walking down stairs is still a difficult skill that Xander has yet to master). We arrived at the bottom and I thought for sure he wanted to get a toy from the living room where we normally play, but no; I was wrong. He instead led me (still by my finger) to the kitchen and pointed to the Shabbat candles still flickering on the kitchen table. Then he signed “more” again.



They were still alight from singing our Shabbat prayers with my wife and Xander hours before. I had given Michal some challah to take with her so we could have a family Shabbat over the speaker phone before she had to lead services that night. Xander hadn’t forgotten. What I hadn’t realized was that Xander didn’t want to open his bedroom door to get out. He wanted to open the door to let Shabbat in.

I was floored. What could I do? I did the only reasonable thing a Dad could do. I picked him up in my arms and again sang “Shabbat, Shabbat, Shabbat Shabbat Shalom!” on and on with him smiling; jumping up and down in my arms. After a few more songs, with many of the words ad-libbed by me, we went into the living room and threw in the “Oy Baby” DVD so we could continue our singing with musical assistance.

We spent the next half hour with me singing with the DVD, Xander playing his xylophone, but mostly dancing together; bouncing to the rhythms of song after song. At the end of the DVD we turned everything off, walked step by step back up the stairs, and bundled up a slightly more exhausted Xander for bed. I may not have the soothing skills my wife has, but I get by in my own way. As Xander made clear, you have to properly welcome Shabbat before you go to bed.

Shabbat Shalom everyone.

*Zerberts are when you blow on your son’s tummy like it's a shofar.