I am so unbelievably domesticated

1) For Thanksgiving, we went to the prof's house who teaches my Hellenistic Literature course. Dinner conversation ranged from the history of Alexander the Great (of course) to Italy to kids to Korean soap operas. All this intellectualism, and yet what did we, as in the majority of the nine adults present, spend most of our time doing? Sitting on the floor playing with the kids.

2) Shabbat dinner last night was with new friends who we met through Tot Shabbats at temple. The couple's son is 10 months. None of us ever really finished dinner... we just took turns eating, feeding the babies, playing with the dogs, and helping the kidlets "walk" (which Xander can do holding onto someone by just one hand, by the way). Dinner conversation? Breast-feeding vs formula, stay at home mom versus working parents, Jonathan's new Android phone, and temple politics. At the end of the night it was so late we knew Xander would fall asleep on the way home, so we borrowed some PJ's from their son, and promised to return them on our next playdate.

3) Our big excursion today was to the Florence, Kentucky mall, about a half hour away. Why? Because we heard they had a great kids' play area. So after a short trip to Lady Foot Locker to buy me new sneakers (so sad, because I like cute shoes but can only really wear one brand of tennies with major support, because of my previous foot surgeries) - we went to everywhere Xander liked - to see the fountain, the bean bag store, the carousel, the big kids going down the slide, etc. We ended the evening at Once Upon a Child, the children's consignment store, and picked up some awesome Hanukkah gifts for a whopping total of $11. Jonathan and I were so excited about the variety of kid's toys, I can't even begin to tell you. They had a great selection of my favorite brand, Melissa and Doug!

So overall, yeah. I look in the mirror and ask myself... at what point exactly did I become my parents?

I want to see this

"Circumcise Me" in NY

Yet another reason why I'm weird

Jonathan and I were having a discussion about Battlestar Galactica, and I kept calling Starbuck "Starhawk." He was like, who's Starhawk?

Yeah.

One is a fictional character on a sci-fi TV show.

The other is a very real woman, a fixture in the Wicca and eco-feminism movement.

I think it's funny that I'm more familiar with the second than I am with the first. :)

Two reasons life is magnificent

One, I've had a "rabbinical" issue for three months that I haven't been able to solve. I went to the Dean of the Rabbinical program and shared it, and boom, he solved it in five minutes flat. 30 years experience as a congregational rabbi comes in handy!

Second, and much more importantly, I tasted something called "gorilla bread" today. I'd had monkey bread before, that Anne had made, but this was even better - it was the same cinnamon-y, sugary, buttery goodness, only it had cream cheese in it, too. Soooo good! We'll ignore the fattening part....

HUC library book sale

I JUST BOUGHT THE COMPLETE WORKS OF JOSEPHUS FOR ONE DOLLAR.

Can you see me doing my happy dance?

$15, 15 books. Aah the joys of life!

Xander update galore

He now pushes his cart standing up, not just crawling! He goes all around the living room, and can even turn it in different directions. The main problem is that our house is only so big, so he gets frustrated when he reaches a wall or other obstacle.

Two days ago he took my cell phone and instead of eating it, held it up to his ear and said “babababa!” Now he does it whenever he can, just like Mommy and Daddy! The best is when I was on my cell phone talking to Jonathan, and Xander picked up the home phone, held it to his ear, and “talked” to me. He had such a huge smile on his face, it was adorable.

He loves to play in the sandbox at daycare.

Here he was too busy shoveling and playing with the cement mixer to actually smile.

His communication and receptive listening skills are getting better and better each day. I can say, "Xander, please hand me the book/sippy cup/whatever," and he places it right in my hand. Earlier this morning when he needed a diaper change, he didn’t cry but went over to where we keep the diapers, brought one over to me, and waved it in front of my face. I got the message!

We’ve had whole conversations this week where he makes a funny noise, then I or Jonathan make one, then he makes one back. Lots of laughing is of course involved – and he’s so emphatic in everything he says!

Let’s see, what else… we have a purple shape sorter with red, orange, and yellow blocks, and so far he knows where the circle and rectangle go, without any help. He loves to play Legos by handing me pieces and then banging the pieces on top of the other (my cue to put the pieces together). He’s way into putting things in a container, so cleaning up the Legos is quite easy – I just ask him to help me put them away, and he puts one in the box, then I do, then he does, etc.

We went for his one year checkup a bit late, since he’s actually 13 months, but he’s right on track. 20.5 pounds, 31 inches long, in the 50^th percentile for both. I asked about his growth rate slowing down, and the doctor reassured me that it was completely normal for his age. He eats an insane amount of food, and then burns the calories playing around. Oh! And he's quite proficient with a spoon, so applesauce, yogurt, and other liquid-y foods are no longer terrible to clean up.

I can’t think of anything else… he’s a great kid, we’re so lucky to have him. :)

A very thoughtful few days

It started off on Wednesday when Matt and I were studying philosophy. We were going over a medieval Jewish theologian's argument for the existence of God. This naturally led to a discussion of what we, personally, believed. I had to say that I was still unsure, but that the all powerful, all knowing God of the Bible and rabbis was not for me. I believe that I was made with a purpose in mind, and that souls are reincarnated, but the concept of an overarching deity is something I still struggle with.

So of course, at my interview on Friday for CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) one of the first questions was, "Where is God in the relationship with your son?" It took me a moment to formulate an answer. What I told him was this: "I'm not sure where God is in that relationship, because I'm still formulating my conception of God. Spirituality is omnipresent in my relationship with Xander. It comes in what he teaches me about life, simply by being who he is. For example, I'm a very calendar-oriented person, always organized and going from one meeting to another. I always have a schedule. But when I'm about to go somewhere, and Xander sees a blade of grass on the sidewalk, he crawls over to it and it is the most amazing thing ever. He teaches me how important it is to notice the green of the blade of grass, the dew reflecting the sun, and everything else about it. It's more than spontaneity and realizing that I can make the time, it's about appreciating everything and seeing the world through his eyes."

Later that night, on my way to Tot Shabbat services (services geared to the preschool set), Holly and I had a similar phone conversation. "How can you go to services and pray," she asked, "if you're not sure what you're praying to?" I thought about that the whole time I was sitting in the sanctuary. I believe in Judaism as a culture and a people, not just as a religion, but I also find the morals and ethics in prayer to be of great value. Do I pray to a God? I'm not sure. Sometimes. Maybe sometimes I pray to myself, to grant myself the wisdom and courage to manifest all the values (peace, thankfulness, etc) that are found in the prayerbook.

Then yesterday, after Shabbat ended, our temple hosted a social get-together with people in their 20s and 30s. As the night came to a close, Jonathan and I found ourselves talking to one couple in particular; myself to the woman, and Jonathan to the man. The men talked about careers, and computers, and politics, I think. Instead our conversation revolved around Judaism as an "adult" religion based on logic as well as faith. Their son has a degenerative condition called Tay-Sachs, and we discussed the meaning inherent in Jewish burial rituals, what you say in a naming ceremony for a baby that doesn't have a future, and more. It was a very serious conversation to be having in an Indian restaurant, but I felt good about being able to give her some guidance, or even just provide a listening ear to bounce ideas off of. It reaffirmed why I want to be a rabbi, to help people... and it also showed me just why I need to be in CPE this summer, so I'll know better what to say in these situations. It was not at all what I was expecting on a Saturday night, but I left feeling strangely fulfilled, if emotionally drained.

Jeffrey had been babysitting a sleeping Xander, and when we got home I was feeling introspective, so asked him a question I'd been wondering for weeks: How does a son's love differ for his mother than for his father? I know all about mother/daughter relationships, but am more fuzzy on mother/son (never having experienced it myself or witnessed that interaction much as a child). That led into a very long talk about how you know you're loved by parents in the first place, how parents differ by gender versus by personality, etc. One thing specifically that Jeffrey said I thought was brilliant: I will unconditionally love Xander, and will tell him so constantly. He will unconditionally love me, but will only tell me so when he needs to, not when I want to hear it. Overall it left me with a lot of food for thought.

Ancient wisdom

While doing research for a sermon I came across this quote, attributed to Simeon b. Gamaliel II in Tractate Shabbat 10b (for perspective, this was redacted in 425 CE):

"If you wish to give a child food, first tell his mother."

Just when I think I don't like Talmud, it goes and does something cool like that!

Two article links

One for the natural parenting, gender-defying feminist mommy in me. It was written in 1999, but it's still completely applicable. Thanks to Holly for posting it on Facebook. :)
The Boy in the Blue Tutu

Second, the political awareness part of me, who really really wants Obama to succeed:
Former evangelist: Religious Right is "Trawling for Assassins"

Up there in the list of miserable experiences

Yesterday my last class was from 3-4:20. At 4:25 I went down to daycare. Xander was napping. I wanted him to sleep as long as possible, so I hung out at school checking email until 5. I got him up, put him in the car, and assumed we'd be home in our usual 15-20 minutes. Then we would eat dinner, play, I'd change into nice clothes, and I'd go to temple to teach adult ed from 7-8pm.

For some strange reason traffic was terrible, and it took me almost 20 minutes to get to the freeway. I had just entered the on-ramp when I saw why: the freeway was a parking lot. Literally, not moving at all. A sea of red lights. This is usual in LA, but not in Ohio. By this point I couldn't back up since there were cars behind me, so I figured I would just wait it out and get off at the next exit, 1.8 miles away.

15 minutes later, still on the on-ramp, I called Jonathan to tell him to hold dinner. Jonathan went online and told me that there was a terrible accident of some sort and the freeway was closed four exits up.

20 minutes after that, in the merge lane, I called Jonathan again to tell him that this really sucked, and that I had sung all the songs I knew to Xander, who was being very very patient and was only whining a little.

10 minutes following that, the boy was screaming his head off in the backseat - DINNER, MOMMY, NOW!!!! - and I still was not fully on the freeway. I called Jonathan back so that he could please call the temple educator and tell her I might be late for class. As Jonathan was on the phone with me the other line rang. He put me on hold, and when he came back he told me that it was one of my adult students, who had heard a traffic report and was warning me not to get on the freeway.

It took me over two hours to go those two miles. When I finally pulled off at the exit, Xander was hot and sweaty from screaming so hard. I nursed him, let him play with my phone, and fed him an oatmeal cookie that I found buried in my backpack (he didn't really care how long it had been there, and neither did I). Unfortunately I had to put him back in the carseat to go the rest of the way home, and the screaming resumed.

Everyone was doing the same thing I was, and the streets were so backed up it took another 25 minutes to go .7 miles. I completely missed my class. Xander got tired of screaming so reverted back to babble. We finally got home and had dinner about a half hour past Xander's usual bedtime. I was ready to cry.

All in all, let's just say that I've had better commutes.

Torah, clothing, cell phones, and bad eyes. In that order.

This pulpit visit was absolutely wonderful! I really got into teaching the Lutheran junior high school students; basically I brought in every Jewish ritual artifact and did a show and tell, ranging from Kiddish cup to menorah to Torah. They had lots of good questions, and the pastor and I exchanged email addresses so that we can maybe plan something in the future. Xander was a doll as usual, and stayed up til past 10pm when everyone went out to dinner. He also slept through the night completely at the hotel, and so was bright and perky in the morning when he and Jonathan joined me for adult ed.

It was definitely providence, because a store was having its grand opening right above the bagel shop where I teach on Saturdays - and it was a consignment store! Jonathan became a man right out of Porn for Moms. He played with the baby on the floor for an hour while giving me clothing advice... now that's love!

As reward for him on the drive back, I consented to stop at the Sprint store to change our cell plan from Verizon. He'd been wanting to do it for awhile, so I caved. He now has a Smartphone, and I have one with a keyboard (20% off on everything with his corporate discount!). This means that we now have an old-old phone, the one I used before the one I just now discarded. I had kept it plugged in just in case we would want it again some day. We're now two phone generations past it, though, so decided to give it to Xander. The look on his face when we handed it to him was priceless. Technology? For MEEE??? He was so thrilled, he opened and closed it and opened and closed it and pressed the buttons again and again to make beeping noises. Oh the joyful squealing!

The only bit of bad news this weekend is that I went to the optometrist, and it was officially confirmed that my eyes are reverting again. (For those who don't know, I was born legally blind and have had two eye surgeries to correct it). I currently wear reading glasses, and am in discussions over whether I need to be back in glasses full-time. The optometrist said that I could legally pass my driving test, but that it would be safer to wear them at all times when I drive, and it would help to have them whenever I sit in a classroom. The only silver lining I can think of is that if I wear my glasses all the time now, I won't have to sit in the front in Talmud class and get called on! I also, for the very first time, felt my age... nearing 30 means that I had to get my eyes dilated so they could do a manual scan for retinal detachment. I've never had to do that before. Oh well. Could be worse, right?

And I do believe I hear the baby waking up from his nap. Happy Sunday!

Does this count as homophobia?

On the radio this morning, a newscaster was talking about how one of Elton John's houses is going to be featured in Architectural Digest. She went on to say, "Elton John and his husband own a lot of houses! I wonder, who wears the French maid outfit when they clean?"

Now, that just rubbed me wrong. What does everyone else think?

A very boring week (at least so far)

Not much to update... I'm totally stuck on a sermon idea for this weekend. I'm going to have a group of Lutheran junior high school students as well as my usual congregants. How do I bridge the gap? Any suggestions?

I applied to a few different centers of ACPE, a chaplaincy training program, for the summer. It looks like it will be really challenging and fascinating... but a little scary too. I'm not that great with sick people! Hopefully the summer will improve this lack.

Xander-wise, yesterday when I was changing his diaper I started singing "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands." And he clapped, right on cue! He knew the song and what he was supposed to do. He also went down our entire staircase by himself, head first. I was a little worried so kept going one step below him, making sure I could catch him if he fell. But he didn't lose his balance once, and was so proud of himself when he reached the bottom. Other than that, his new favorite food is peas. Last night at dinner he had great fun dropping the peas in his yogurt and then fishing them out with his spoon. Dinner and entertainment, all in one!

Libraries, conferences, and fire dust

Per Sheryl's request, I can describe the HUC library opening: it was long. And PACKED with people. I went to the 2pm event held at HUC, and the main sanctuary plus the balcony was overflowing with students, community members, and Trustees and Board of Directors. There were lots of speeches that unfortunately I couldn't hear, because I was sitting in the hallway outside the balcony area, near some classrooms. Myself and most of the people near me gave up on trying to hear what was going on, and we played with Xander instead. I do know that Prof. Meyer (who literally wrote the Jewish Encylopedia entry on "Reform Judaism") gave a Powerpoint on the history of libraries and this one specifically. I heard the first part, about the library of Alexandria, and missed out on pretty much all the rest.

There was also an event at the JCC at 7pm, but I didn't go to that one. From what I heard it was a resounding success, with over one thousand people, music, song, speeches, and lots of food. The library itself was a bustle of activity the few days beforehand, what with discussions by all the bigwhigs, vacuuming, putting up plaques, etc. - last Friday I actually left my cozy study spot on the first floor to go to the American Jewish Archives for some peace and quiet, it was so loud.

I gave my sermon last week on the current economy and what we can leave to our children, and I was so sad to hear that CAJE, the Conference for the Alternatives of Jewish Education, is now out of business. I went once in 2000 and it was an amazing experience; hopefully it will get started again when the world gets in better financial straits. Please donate to them, the future of Jewish education deserves it!

And last but not least, a funny translation error: Jonathan and my sister went to a shooting range Monday before she left, and in trying to say the word "gunpowder," she said "fire dust" instead. I actually like that word better!

Shabbat shalom, everyone.

Last week

Preoccupied boy - who needs hugs?

Shabbat dinner. Claudia and Xander are checking out the table.

Jeffrey giving kisses.




Curry face.

Yentl nibbles Simcha's ear. I don't think he even noticed.

By the way, do you remember at some point after Xander was born I said that when your baby's a morning person, you become a morning person? Well, it's been a year now. That time has passed. It faded very soon after Xander started waking up for the day around 5:30....

Halloween!

Our little lion.

Giving out Halloween candy with his Doda Odelia.

Halloween scene on the porch.

Our street all decked out.

This was a block from us! This was the front yard. The haunted house inside was amazing.

Odelia and the ghosts.

Watching the scene from the front door.

Lovely weekend

Halloween was wonderful! Xander was, what do you know, a lion in an adorable costume. It was a huge jacket basically with a mane and ears as a hat, plus a tail. For some strange reason here the kids don't ring the doorbells, but everyone hangs out on their porch to give out the candy. So Xander pushed his car all around the front porch when Jonathan and I handed out candy. At one point all three of us went to go see the haunted house that someone made, a block down, and Odelia gave out chocolate instead. Then we traded and she and Jonathan went to look at the house, while Xander and I played. He now walks when he holds onto a push toy, instead of just crawling. I have tons of pictures, but like always, it will take me a while to sort through and post them.

Let's see... my pulpit visit was good. I taught a class on "Comparative Judaism" (Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, Reconstructionist, Renewal) and it made me realize how little Jews know as a whole about Reform, our own movement. So I think next time I'll do a "what do Reform Jews actually believe, the party line" type session. The movement actually has very clear lines on God, Torah, Israel, etc, but no one knows them. Why is that?!

Jonathan and I spent a good couple hours today raking up the leaves in our backyard. They filled three garbage cans and two yard waste paper bags! And that was only the backyard. We were pooped, we'll do the front yard next weekend. The trees are pretty, but man when the leaves fall on your yard it's annoying.

I think that's about it... right now have to go study for a philosophy midterm.